To Start Over [sonnet]

I came across a Sonnet on some blog yesterday, I thought I should write one. I don’t know if its apt, but I loved to explore this new form. To find all relevant information on sonnets with exampled substance, click here.

 

Beguiled, held in symphony of cosmos
pursuing the treasured candid luminance
men incline to partake, far from rimose
behind mountains, therein lies life’s essence.

limning notion, with coupled attributions
men prescribe to escape incited by hope
spread of orange, hovering over burdens
to seek, “present” abandoned they elope.

but awaits gravy, long deserted road
probing sun to die, soon, night to overhaul
time belittled, start awaits, faith borrowed
they move, to deter “present” still stands tall.

Dearth of hours, to redeem, shall prevail
not relying on clouded shackles, over that sail.

19 thoughts on “To Start Over [sonnet]

  1. I’ve never really been a technical writer so I must commend you in branching out and trying different styles of poetry. I like it keep branching out!

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  2. Trying to balance my coffee cup, dictionary,thesaurus and laptop while warding off two kids who want to decorate my laptop with ice-cream–sonnet looks lovely but will comment later after I learn the meanings of a few more new words.

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  3. Perhaps it was my sonnet? I have to confess that I find the form so challenging and if it weren’t for Luke Prater’s input I don’t think I could have pulled it off. But from my limited perpective, I think you did just fine. The poem and photo go so well together. Well done.

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    • I’m afraid not, I don’t remember the blog, otherwise I would have mentioned. I came by your blog afterwards and yes, yours is incredible.
      It’s definitely challenging though, it was my first. I was hoping for constructive criticism, I guess I will have to call him too.

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  4. some great lines… though for a sonnet traditionally you need to have your ten syllables per line metered as iambs (iambic pentameter). If you knew this already and intentionally avoided it (ie making this a ‘modern sonnet’) then please disregard. This is part that get tricky and why many modern poets just don’t write things like sonnets. Great you did, content is good.

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    • I did take meter into consideration, counting syllables by dictionary.com
      I know last line has 11 but rest I thought had 10, I guess I will have a look again.

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    • I just read about iambs, did not know what they were.
      I thought it was just about 10 syllables, but it was about the meter, the 5 feet. I’m really not clear on the whole unstressed and stressed part of a word, it really seems quite hefty to recognize in a word with more than one syllable. Might require lot of reading but never mind.

      thanks for the excellent critique, just what I was looking for, I loved it, understood it, little late though.

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      • Shakespeare’s first line of his most famous sonnet –

        Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day? – this is broken into 5 iambs like this –

        shall I | com PARE | thee TO | a SUM | mer’s DAY?

        di-DUM | di-DUM | di-DUM | di-DUM | di-DUM

        longer words are trickier to put into iambic lines, but easy once you get the feel for it –

        irrational –

        i RA | tion AL |

        he’s discombobulated, right? –

        he’s DIS | com BOB | u LAT | ed, RIGHT?

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    • Thanks Lisa,
      Ya, I get it now that its complicated.
      Glad you liked it, and poetry potluck is an amazing platform to share.
      Happy Potluck!

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